


The Boy Who Was Never Meant To Be

by Bimbula



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), tommyinnit - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Death, Denial, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ghostbur, Grieving, Hurt Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Prison, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, ghostinnit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29787597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bimbula/pseuds/Bimbula
Summary: Tommy, how much he'd been through, pain, suffering...and now it was gone.It was all gone.And he thought to himself, he thought back, on his past, how much he'd narrowly avoided death and he thought, well. He was never meant to be.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	1. Prologue

Tommy gasped, he looked up, his eyes filled with tears. He saw Wilbur on the other side, he was playing guitar on the other side, laughing and playing with him on the other side.

“Tommy!” He heard him say, giggling, “Tommy come with me! Schlatts with me here! We’re happy here!” He said, reaching his hand out for him.

He curled, further in on himself, his memories flooding through his mind. Building L’manburg with Wilbur and Tubbo, Laughing, dancing, smiling...smiling. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled. 

His first life being ripped away from him, stolen by someone he’d trusted. He felt so weak that day, and he guessed...he guessed it was foreshadowing huh? For what was to come.

Tommy remembered Manburg, Pogtopia. His friend being kept away. His brother going insane, he was lost in his emotions, having to watch his friend die, die to one of his idols.

November 16th. Watching his brother die. Die to the hands of his father.

Then his exile, being manipulated over and over again. Made to think he was weak, worthless. Driving himself to near suicide...and sometimes. There were days he wished he went through with it, wished he made that jump.

“TOMMY! TOMMY NO!” He heard pained shrieks, from Sam. Sam. The only adult that had ever cared for him. And he left him locked up. Locked up with his abuser.

Deep down, deep down Tommy knew he was close to his end. He knew the day would come...because Wilbur was right, he just never seemed to die. 

He always pushed through, he always managed to pick himself up, and yet now...he didn’t. He looked back on his life and realised how pointless everything used to be. 

He wondered, wondered if anyone would miss him really. No one ever seemed to care.

“Tommy! Tommy are you coming?” Wilbur called, and tommy looked up, looking down at his ghost, in his L’manburg uniform, a childish glow in his eyes.

“Im coming Wilbur, I guess, I guess it was never meant to be was it?” He said and laughed quietly, taking his hand.

And later that day, when Tubbos cries of denial could be heard in the streets. When you could see Ranboo, planting flowers outside his house.

Jack Manifold, caught up in his own thoughts, unable to think straight. Technoblade, crying softly to himself, missing the brother he used to have. Phil, grieving, grieving over the loss of his youngest. 

No one spoke in the streets, later that day, they started silently into the distance, wondering, wondering if only they could have done something differently. 

Only have done something to save him. To save the boy that was never meant to be.


	2. Chapter One - Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo...Tubbo was in denial. That was the short of it

Tommy’s death affected everyone, in different ways you see. Even the people that thought they wouldn’t care. They care, more than they wanted to admit.

Tubbo was hit the hardest by far. He’d sat, sat for hours in the Bee ‘n Boo hotel, not even talking to Ranboo.

He didn’t believe it you see, for a while. He sat there, mumbling quietly to himself, saying “He’ll be back, Tommy will be back” When deep down, deep down he knew he wouldn't be, he wouldn’t come back. His best friend was...his best friend, his companion through life, was gone. And there was nothing he could do about it. 

He got up, silently, and put his headphones on, listening to some stupid song in his subconscious, barely paying attention. Tubbo started building again, working on his hotel.

And if Tubbo didn’t talk to anyone for 2 days, no one asked questions. No one disturbed the broken child. Whos life line had been snatched and shattered, broken to a million pieces, him being unable to do anything about it.

His mind was in a different place you see, a fantasy world no one else could see, like Alice In Wonderland. Where he could relive his happiness. The childhood he’d lost to war. And the friend, the friend taken from him too young.

When he didn’t want to remember, remember the distress, the guilt he felt. He could run away from it all. To the palace in his mind. The walls he’d built for himself, to keep himself from breaking down.

He knew, he knew that if he accepted it. If he said to himself. Tommyinnit is dead. Tommy is dead. My best friend is gone. That he wouldn’t be able to go on.

Tubbo tried to go on, he tried to keep going. Thinking that Tommy would be back, he was on vacation. He would be back, back home...right?

But no, he wouldn’t be. The sad reality was that Tubbo was gone.

He sat down again, pulling out a note book, and writing.

“Dear Tommy,

Its Tubbo! ive been holding up..or, trying to at least.  
The Bee n boo hotel is looking nice! 

Everyone...everyones trying to talk to me, to tell me youre gone. 

But they have nothing to say sorry for, youre not gone at all, are you? 

Because...because if I dont see it, If i dont accept it, then its not true? Right?

Like when we were kids playing hide and seek, if j cant see it, then its not there.

But youre here. I know you are. And im holding out for you. I always will...I’ll never give up on you Toms.

I’ll stay with you until my dying days. And when you come back i’ll be here.

Cause I’m not giving up on you. Not again.

I regret so much Tommy. And I wish, that we could live in our own world together.

Like in Alice in Wonderland. A world with magic and love. With talking rabbits and dancing birds.

Some people say im deluded Tommy…but im not…am I?

I dont know anything anymore Tommy. Im lost without you.

I’ll write tomorrow probably. Hope to see you soon

Your best friend

Tubbo”

He walked, walked to the Big Innit hotel, clutching the tear stained letter tightly.

“Tubbo, whats up?” Sam asked him softly.

“I’m leaving a letter...for tommy,”

“For tommy, thats...thats nice Tubbo,” He said, tears forming, hugging him quickly and then walking away.

Tubbo left the letter on the desk, a layer of dust forming, untouched, undisturbed. 

It made him feel strange, the way one day they were laughing and joking together...and the next he was gone. It didn’t feel real.

He felt like he was drowning in his own mind. Suffocating in a barrage of intrusive thoughts.

It all got overwhelming sometimes, the days hed spend, shaking and crying to himself, grabbing his hair and rocking on the floor. 

The days he blamed himself for Tommys death. Thinking if only. If only. If only he could’ve done something.

But then again, he could just not belive it. Because if you don’t believe its true. Then it isn't.

And if Tubbo wanted to believe, that one day in the future, he and Tommy could be running around together, picking flowers and dancing together. Having fun like kids do. Then they’d let him belive, because they didn't want to hurt him. Didn’t want to risk another kids life on their truths.

Life was precious, he’d come to realise. A sacred thing that he didn’t want to lose. 

And that he didn’t want to believe anyone had lost. Especially not Tommy.

Because why, of all people. Had it been tommy. The kid who had gone though so much. The kid who’d been drove close to death multiple times. Why had it been him.

Tommy didn’t deserve death. He didn’t deserve any of it. Tubbo knew this. 

Because Tommy was so so precious to him. And if he was gone, then did Tubbo really want to be there either?

Denial. That was the way to put it. He was in denial. He felt broken inside, lost, numb. He didn't...he didn’t feel anything anymore. He just wanted to have a slither of hope. A slither of light in this unforgiving world he lived in. His morbidly bright innocence shining through in the darkness.

Ranboo, came to see him a lot, to check up on him, make sure he was doing ok. Because he was struggling so much himself to cope.

“Tubbo, how are you holding up?” He asked softly.

“Im doing fine big man.”

He paused, big man...holding back tears he sighed slightly, “Are you sure..Toby?”

“Im, I’m in denial…it, it didn’t happen,” He said and shook his head, looking away.

“Well…do you plan on leaving denial?”

He looked up to him, a single tear running down his face, his eyes tired and broken, face red and puffy, and then he said, in a quiet, drained voice, barely loud enough to hear “No, I think I’ll stay in denial a little bit longer”


End file.
